Dealing with Anger

1. Allow time for anger to subside. Allow quiet time - allow for silence. You cannot solve problems when you are extremely emotional.

2. Refocus on what you want to see happen. Ask: What do I want the outcome of this situation to be?

3. Acknowledge the situation. Keep your voice calm. Use eye contact and slow but firm gestures. Let the person know you want to talk and to also listen to what he or she has to say.

4. Don`t jump in with both feet! Start gently and move to heavier responses only if necessary. Give options. Look for solutions and be ready to compromise.

5. Find a way for all parties to save face. No one wants to be blamed or embarrassed.

6. Maintain respect. Don`t scold or humiliate. Treat the person in an adult manner even if their behavior appears childish.

7. At first sign of anger, decide whether it is better to probe for more information or to acknowledge the feelings. Sometimes an open-ended or factual question redirects the party; at other times, the emotion is the dominant message and requires attention. Caution: In some situations, calling attention to the emotion can actually increase the intensity of the anger.

8. Give the person time - take the pressure off, allow cooling out time. People de-escalate at different rates. Usually, the more upset a person is, the longer it will take to calm down. Take a time out until you are calm.

9. Don`t try to discuss the content until the person is calm, and you are calm also.

10. You can always stop and wait until you or the other person is calm.

11. Be aware that the person may become angry again. Once again, take time out.

12. Use empathy carefully. Overstating or understating the intensity of their feelings may trigger further anger.

13. Ensure your own safety - don`t put yourself physically between two angry people. Physical behavior never solves problems.

14. Know your limits. Never enter a situation you think may become physical.

15. Don`t allow abusive behavior. Verbal or physical abuse is not acceptable.

(I saw this on the web, thanks to the author)